Crazy Cat Lady University Entrance Exam | Crazy Cat Lady University

1. How many cats do you currently own?

1 to 10

11 to 20

I want to own every cat in the world.

All of the above

I don't have a cat.

Correct!

Wrong!

2. Do you vacuum your furniture more than you do your floor?

Yes

What's a vacuum?

Furniture? The cat destroyed it all.

Why would I need to? I don't have a cat.

Correct!

Wrong!

How many cats sleep in bed with you at night?

1 to 5

6 to 10

All of them

Its their bed. I sleep with them.

None. I don't have a cat

Correct!

Wrong!

How much time do you spend with your cats each day?

As much time as they let me.

My cats go to work with me.

I Skype my cats when I'm not at home.

My cats go everywhere with me...work, vacation, shopping, dates, bathroom...everywhere.

Spending time with a cat is worse than having a tooth pulled.

Correct!

Wrong!

What part of your home belongs to your cats?

Only the areas with the food bowls, cat toys and litter boxes.

Each of my cats have their own room decorated to suit their personalities.

The square footage of my home divided by the number of cats.

I don't have a home. My cats let me live here.

NO cats in my house!

Correct!

Wrong!

Would your friends call you a crazy cat lady?

Yes

No, I probably need two more cats before they would do that.

They only call me when they're hungry.

My friends only speak Meow-ese and have paws.

I have no cats and no friends. Leave me alone.

Correct!

Wrong!

Who do you feed first in the morning...your cats, your family or yourself?

Myself

My family, of course.

My cats feed themselves and give me the leftovers.

Who on earth would even consider eating before feeding their cats? That's terrible!

I have no cats to feed. I don't want any cats to feed.

Correct!

Wrong!

Do you buy Christmas or holiday presents for your cats?

Yes and gift wrapped too!

Each of my cats have a stocking hung with care.

I buy the Christmas tree. That's their present.

My cat is Jewish. We celebrate Paw-nukkah

NO cats. Anywhere. At any time of the year.

Correct!

Wrong!

Do you ever dress your cats in costumes or other attire?

Yes, when I can catch them.

Yes, they love it. They want to be Instagram stars.

Yes and they pick out their own outfits.

No, I have no desire to be clawed to death.

I don’t like cats and especially cats in costumes.

Correct!

Wrong!

Do you give your cats catnip?

Yes, my cats are on continuous catnip highs.

Yes, why do you think there claw marks on my ceiling?

No, my cats are already hyper enough.

I don’t give them anything. They take what they want, when they want and how they want.

I will never, ever, ever, never ever own a cat.

Correct!

Wrong!

Are you proficient in Meow-ese, the official cat language?

Meow

No, but I've signed up for the class.

I’m a beginner. All I can do is purr right now.

I’m old, I’m angry and I growl. I’m past meow.

For the 11th and final time, pull the cat hair from your ears. I have NO CATS! I thought this was a quiz about computer technology. How do I get out of here?

Correct!

Wrong!

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